English Translation

the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

Last night, I had the feel of packing ang baos. Felt nice to be packing those new notes into nice gold packets and also a bit heart pain knowing how much $$ going out of my pocket. Disadvantage of getting married. I would have wanted to collect a few more years of angbao instead of giving out so early. Lol! Lucky I got my son to take back some.

Logan's going to be richer than both his parents put together soon. Reason being, I opened an acct for him and put all the $$ from angbaos received for his 1 mth celebration and xmas in there. Plus the baby bonus and the CNY angbaos to come, my son's gonna be rich man!! Told his Daddy we will not touch a cent in there. In the long run, he will thank me cos where will we find the money if little Logan grows up one day and tell his Daddy and Mummy that he wants to study overseas? We wouldn't have to crack our heads and squeeze brain juice out to find the $$. At least not that much. Lol! I'm starting to feel what my parents felt when they were always coming out $$ for 3 of us but not receiving any back. Guess it's a cycle we all have to go through..

Anyway, can't wait to bring little Logan out in his nice CNY clothes for visiting. And our 1st year handing out angbaos!! Hopefully as we're handing out the last few packets (I packed plenty plenty!), we can still keep the smiles on our faces. ROFL..

Been 1 week since I started work, almost seems as if I never left but its been 3 months!! Feels like 3 weeks though. But I get lots of people commenting that I look slimmer than before and asking what's my secret. Ha.. I guess that would be confinement food and getting hospitalised with a lump in the neck? But realised I havent kicked the habit of taking 3-4 hrs to eat my lunch, doing my work in between spoonfuls of rice and running about the office. Guess I won't be able to take dinner tonight again.

Time is passing real fast today. Need to go shop for Boss' bday present later. Dunno what to get man.. more like cos he doesnt need anything and whatever he needs/wants, we cant afford it. Ha..

2007 was an eventful year. Ups and downs.. Downs which became ups.. It was a good year really, to say. Best part of it? LOGAN, definitely. Looking at him, I really feel all the decisions I made were worth it. Sometimes I look at myself, do I look like a mummy? A hip mummy of cos! Lol! Really feel that being a mother makes me feel older  but I definitely do not wanna be one of those that do not take care of their looks and shape just cos they're married with a kid. Women should look good and even better after they start a family. A way to make sure your husbands dun run on you. Of cos, if they really wanna run, nothing will stop them. But hey, it beats not trying at all right? Ha..

The worse part? Thyroiditis landing me in hospital I guess. And of all hospitals, it had to be Changi. Not only did I waste money and time there, I came out of there and got into a worse condition. Never felt more physical pain than this before, and most of the time I was in tears cos the pain was unbearable. Hitting on my nerves. Compared to contractions and labour, i think this was 10 times worse. Yes, giving birth was easier. Ha. But too, I thank my lucky stars and little Logan that I had a very smooth and easy delivery and not to mention, very short labour pains. So as I wanted, no epidural needed. The nurse asked a lot of times if i wanted but i refused. Alot of ppl said I'm dam lucky. I met many mothers at the hospital who went through like, 20 hrs of labour? That must have been terrible. Looks like my son dotes on his mum even before he's born. Choosing to come out one month early at a small size, saving his mum lots of pain and complications. Hee..

 New year's resolution: havent thot of any cos really, I havent been able to keep to any every time i made one in the past. People just make them for the sake of having one ya know.. so that they have a goal to look forward to? Some made super unrealistic ones, crazy ones. Ha. But if I really have to make one, I choose to love my husband wholeheartedly and even more than before, cos he really deserves more. Really. He can be irritating at times, loving to antagonize me, pretending to be dumb and dun understand what im talking about but at the end of the day, he dotes on me, loves me alot (i know that), has a good heart and i know he wants me to love him wholeheartedly with no distractions (save for our son). Although its been a rather short relationship yet, we've been through a lot (everything fast forwarded) and we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together. SO let's make the best of it! One more resolution, i must really learn to curb my temper and find back my long lost patience and tolerance. I used to be a very patient person but cant remember where i totally lost it along the way in life. With patience and tolerance goes a long way. Less trouble and conflict this way, although that may mean im at a losing end most of the time but if it makes everyone happy, why not right?

A meaningful song by Jacky Cheung. For you, my darling..

看你背面我身体欠自然
看你正面两手失控在颤
看你笑脸我开心数夜数天
与你说话我哑口会无言
与你碰面我体温会乱变
与你贴面一世的经典
若你肯再拥抱紧一点
我愿意用我十年
去换我共你十天 ooh
要讲你知你的意义
每当我的心肝跳一次
没法子难制止
你是血液渗于我每一处
要讲你知我的故事
这一秒即使心再不跳
在记忆潜意识
爱是已在心中永世不变

光阴可以瞬间转数十年
生死起跌也知不会幸免
当中只有爱的感觉未曾变

Hmm.. i'll be 26 soon. Looking back, i've had quite an eventful year. Biggest thing would be i got married i guess.. The 25th year has passed by quite quickly and it's scary hw time flies the more candles there are on the bday cake!

And then before i know it, i'll be hitting the big '3'! *faint* Dun even wish to go there.. or think abt it.So many things to do and I don't even know where to start but one thing's for sure, i'm taking the short cut compared to most of my closest frens. Have a baby first! I guess its a good thing to have a kid early, sacrifice a little now and then in a few years time when ppl ard me are preparing to have babies, i wld have finished with the difficult part and be more free than them!! And i'll be the more experienced one too! *lol*

Ya, i suppose now's the best age to have a baby. Not too young or old. I hope my baby will be as cute as the baby in Rob-b-hood! And always smiling and laughing.. Can't wait! Although i'll need to work on my phobia of carrying babies. They're just so fragile and knowing me always very chor lok one.. hw would i dare to carry a baby. Like i only dared to carry my nephew when he was about 9 mths cos by then he seemed sturdier and not so breakable. ha. But he's so cute and chubby!! Must try to feed my baby til he's like this too.. ;p

Ok now, let me try to indulge in the last few days of my 25th year of life..

received an email today tt made my eyes almost pop. some manager from another dept asked my boss if i cld help with some job responsibilities while they looked for a replacement for a sales rep who left recently. my boss seems to be fine wif it.. @_@; i mean, wat the hell does this have to do wif me.. its totally outta my job scope and i dun like doing sales! esp when it involves making calls to follow up on leads!! they are nt even going to pay me extra or anything.. sigh! but it seems like i dun hv a choice.. or do i? argh!!!

im feeling a little.. no, very shortchanged! i shall nw wait for my boss to come back and try to hint to him tt i cannot take up the responsibilities tt are being pushed into my face. i dun believe the job is as easy as the guy made it out to be.. more often than not, it is usually more than described in the first place. Not good, not good at all.

wat i cannot figure out is.. why did they think of me of all people? Was i volunteered by somebody? Better dun let me find out who the person is or they gonna die..

Bad day today.. everything seems to be gng haywire or messed up and this is the last straw!